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KEEPING IT SAFE!

The South Beach AIDS Project offers ten points to consider before having sex with someone you just met. In the sexually charged environment in which we live, the following is certainly worth considering.

• Condoms and lube are the safest way to ensure you don't pick up or give out more than you bargained for. Keep them somewhere easy to reach or visible for the moments when you need them most.
• Drugs like ketamine, cocaine, crystal, and ecstasy can alter your perception of reality considerably. How well do you negotiate getting the sex you want when you're on these drugs?
• If you can't or won't use condoms, minimize the risks as far as you can. To do that you'll have to know about each person's HIV status. Ask. Can you be sure? Don't assume anything. If you're making assumptions, do you mind taking the risk?
• How are you going to feel about sex when you're high or when you've come down? Chances are if you go into a drug experience thinking you'll have unsafe sex, then you will.
• Who are you going home with tonight? Think about how you are going to look after your personal, as well as sexual, safety if you're trashed.
• Hot clubs and drugs dehydrate you. They make the need for water-based lube extra important. Sex will be more comfortable, and when used with condoms, will help prevent getting or passing on HIV and other STDs.
• Viagra can be a fatal "recreational drug." In particular, avoid mixing it with poppers and strong stimulants like ecstasy, crystal and cocaine.
• All things in moderation. Taking most drugs, including alcohol, on a regular basis can have a profound impact on sexual function, making it difficult to get and maintain an erection, or reach orgasm, whether you've taken the drug or not.
• Many club drugs have a pain killing effect. This might mean that when you're having sex, you're doing damage that you're unaware of, or are being more sexually aggressive than usual. Less is more Drugs that enhance sensory experience, like ecstasy, GHB, and ketamine tend to give more pleasurable effects at relatively low doses. Alcohol might loosen you up to get chatting, but too much may leave the spirit willing and the flesh weak.

Part One (go to part 2)

A recent Los Angeles Times article cites new public health concerns about use of the Internet for those seeking sex partners. California public health officials caution that gay and bisexual men looking for quick-turnaround sex increasingly are turning to the Internet, and that they are doing so at far greater rates than their heterosexual counterparts.

National surveys show that many gay men are tiring of safer sex practices and are turning to the sexual superhighway of the Internet. It is neither feasible nor desirable to close off the Internet as those who advocated the closing of bathhouses did in the 1980s. And passing out condoms in bars, adult bookstores and guesthouses is not an option either to those who choose the science of computer technology to meet people for sex.

Gay.com reported nearly 18 million chat sessions on their site in April of this year, up from 4 million in January of 1999. This provider says 150,000 members sign on to chat rooms every day. Of course you can't contract HIV or an STD while chatting with somebody on the Internet. You have to physically show up and interact. But many men are drawn to the idea of forgoing small talk in bars by going online to meet a partner - without ever brushing their teeth or combing their hair.

The LA Times article, authored by Charles Ornstein, quotes California physicians that treat HIV-positive patients who estimate that as many as 30% of their patients meet their partners online. In California, Colorado, Kentucky and Maine, public health officials have traced outbreaks of sexually transmitted diseases to chat room meetings.

Evolutionary psychologists have long postulated that men in general are more interested in casual sex. Finding one more spot to "cruise" (that the Internet offers) just fuels that fire. Just remember to take that condom and lube with you when you do meet face to face that new friend you've made on the Internet.

Part Two (go to part 1)

A number of Internet users have taken issue at least in part with the last article I wrote on the increasing use of computer technology to meet sexual partners. They fall into two camps. The first camp says that while they did indeed meet their current partners on the Internet, that initial contact blossomed into a full-time nurturing relationship.

While my intent was not to belittle ANY manner in which individuals may "couple", I can certainly understand their point. Some of these say that are embarrassed to reveal how they met and that articles like the one I wrote contribute to that hesitancy to divulge such information. To them I apologize for adding to their discomfort.

A second group informs me that computer technology used to its fullest yields the "safest" form of contact between would-be sexual partners - nonphysical contact. Using Microsoft technology called "Netmeeting", live images can be viewed and also sent over the web. This creates an interactive sexual or nonsexual encounter.

Consenting adults anywhere at any time can explore and share their fantasies. This requires a good computer (windows 98 or higher), a digital camera with software (starting at $30 at Office Max or Office Depot), and the Netmeeting software (free download at Microsoft.com). Proponents of this technology tell me it provides them with the "safest" of sexual encounters.

Whether this appeals to you or not, it is still advisable to take condoms and lube with you when you leave your house or apartment. Play safe and smart.